5 simple ways to have good conversations on a date

One of my biggest fears when I was dating was silence. Awkward silence, running out of conversation, and the panic that then ensued filled me with such dread. I would combat it by either chatting a load of 'twaddle’ to fill the silence, or panic so much that I could think of nothing to say. Chances are my verbal explosions or my clamming up put off a few people. I knew that the right one would be someone I wouldn’t run out of conversation with. It turned out to be true - five years later … we’re still conversing well! So what did I learn about how to have good conversations that brought out the best in me and the person I was meeting?

5 simple ways to have good conversations on a date

In order to have good conversations, there’s got to be balance between how much or how little you talk. If you dominate the conversation, it can leave the other person feeling overwhelmed and not listened to. If you don’t contribute, then it’s hard work for the other to maintain communication and find out more about you.

My mother always taught me: “Think before you speak”, but sometimes I still struggle with this due to panic setting in and just wanting to fill the silence. In these moments I need to pause, take a breath, remember to listen and use my brain to think about what I’m saying.

This is the difference between introverts and extroverts and respecting the characteristics here. It’s important for both parties to be listened to, have their say and feel valued. This is easier said than done when one can be forthcoming and the other holding back but both these traits can be down to nerves. Think about how you can let each other shine so good conversations can flow.

Too Chatty?

Give space; don’t feel like you need to always fill the silence. Let the other person speak, making sure you are actively listening, asking good questions. If this is your normal character, and your chattiness is part of who you are, then don’t squash that, but be aware of it. Try to find places where you pause for breath and listen. A good listener is hard to find, and is an art in itself.

People enjoy talking about themselves, so you’ll find that if you actively ask about the other person, you’ll be able to spend some time listening and showing interest in them. This in turn will make them feel appreciated and they may open up more. Dominating a conversation can cause introverts to clam up. Instead use your gift of talking to draw out the other party as chattiness can ease nerves for your date.

Too Quiet?

If you find you’re an introvert and clam up, really try to communicate. How else will your date find out about you if you don’t open up? If you’re not forthcoming, then maybe think of some questions and topics of conversation prior to the date so that you don’t panic and freeze. This will also help to take a lead if you’re both finding conversation hard. Try not to be overwhelmed if the other party is talking a lot – take the pauses as opportunities for you to have your say. Giving full answers rather than one-word answers will help.

Be Sensitive To Each Other

Try not to judge and rule out a person for not talking/talking too much straight away. Be gracious and try to work out the needs of the other person, putting them first. Maybe they need to get things off their chest, maybe their nerves cause them to be shy and quiet, maybe they talk a lot because they’re actually excited to be with you!

Sensitivity to the other person is vital – my husband chooses words carefully and wisely, whereas I just blurt things out. We’re still learning to allow each other the space to think and have our say. For us to have good conversations, it is important for him to talk and communicate so that I know what he is thinking or feeling whereas I must allow him that time so that he also gets his say.

The same applies on dates – show an interest in what each other is saying, show humility and not pride. “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.” Philippians 2:3-4

Having good conversations in dating - Christian Connection dating adviceFor good conversations, ask good questions

Conversation starters could include trying to understand each other’s jobs for example. Not just asking what they do, but trying to get a complete picture of it as this is their world and where they spend much of their time.

Finding out family situations, favourite books/movies/food, ‘desert island discs‘, asking about their five-year plan, the proudest moment in their life, their testimony of how they became a Christian, a time where they knew God at work in their life etc. This should then spark more conversations and help you to get to know each other and take it to a deeper level.

Deal with nerves

Be aware how you act when nervous – combat it and try to work against the grain if you know you go silent, or too chatty. Be gracious if your date is quiet, encourage them and be understanding. Listen to what they say – sometimes if words are few and far between, they’re worth listening to! If your date is loud, let that put you at your ease but not overwhelm you. If you chat from nerves, try to reign it in, use your chattiness wisely to encourage the other.

Give yourselves a chance to get to know each other by listening to each other. I was frustrated if people didn’t talk on dates and I’d panic, but how much of them not talking was because they were nervous, or because I didn’t allow space? Getting that balance is important to let conversation flow. It’s like a first dance…chances are at first you’ll step on each other’s feet but the more you practice, the more fluid and in tune with each other you will become.

 


Find out more about Christian Connection and how to join.

Source : Christian Connection More   

What's Your Reaction?

like
0
dislike
0
love
0
funny
0
angry
0
sad
0
wow
0

Next Article

Why Men Who Are Dominant In Bed Have Better Sex Lives, More Pleasurable Orgasms & Higher Libidos Than Everyone Else (Scientifically Proven)

New Research Suggests Rough Sex Is the Secret to Sexual Satisfaction–Discover How to Dominate Her For MAX Pleasure Below… Click ... Read more 821 Views The post Why Men Who Are Dominant In Bed Have Better Sex Lives, More Pleasurable Orgasms & Higher Libidos Than Everyone Else (Scientifically Proven) appeared first on Gotham Club.

Why Men Who Are Dominant In Bed Have Better Sex Lives, More Pleasurable Orgasms & Higher Libidos Than Everyone Else (Scientifically Proven)

New Research Suggests Rough Sex Is the Secret to Sexual Satisfaction–Discover How to Dominate Her For MAX Pleasure Below…

The whole “Me Too” movement and neo-feminism movement have changed a lot in our society.

These movements have fought against the mal- dominated industries, and they have been a champion for women to take charge of their own lives.

We are the ones in control of our future and the world can no longer be dominated by men.

BRAND-NEW:

But you know a place that can be dominated by men? You know what they haven’t changed?

Men, be dominant in the bedroom. 

Men who practice BDSM have to experience less stress than other men.

And on top of that, a new study shows men who practice dominant sex get more pleasure out of it too:

The Proof Is In The… Kinky Sex? For Men Who Act Dominant In Bed, Researchers Say “Yes”…

Just because we want equal payout in the real world does not mean that we want you to stop f**king us three ways to Monday. There is a time and place for teamwork and togetherness, and there is a time and place for a woman wanting you to take complete control. 

Play nice outside, and be a beast in the bedroom.

Taking control in the bedroom can be super hot for your partner and turn your sex life up to the max.

SHY OR INTROVERTED?

Bondage and Discipline, Dominance/Submission, and Sadism-Masochism (BDSM) has become a very popular sexual experience for many couples. What used to be just a weird part of porn has now become so mainstream, that Netflix has an entire show dedicated to it.

A explored the psychological benefits to BDSM sexual interactions. It found that people who practice BDSM tend to be more comfortable with their sexuality, and they have better mental health than the general population.

The dominants are usually more satisfied than the submissives, regardless of gender. In addition, couples who were in a committed relationship were overall more satisfied than individuals just hooking up using BDSM.

The researchers of this study suggested that control and being versatile can increase your sexual health and satisfaction.

The submissives in this study remained at the level of sexual health and satisfaction of the general population.

You Don’t Need Whips & Chains to Start Experimenting With BDSM…

BDSM does not have to be a lifestyle. It is simply another option in your toolbox to pull out if you ever need it.

Being dominant in the bedroom comes in all shapes, sizes, and levels. You don’t always have to go the hardcore route. I’m not asking all you first timers to shove a dildo up your ass and eat your partner out from a sex swing.

There are so many little ways you can ease both yourself and your partner into the dominant/submissive sex style that fit easily into your normal routine.

Let’s talk about shower sex. Ohlala, I know.

Shower sex gets a bad rap for being too difficult and awkward and uncomfortable.

Yes, there is absolutely a wrong way to have sex in the shower, and a lot of what dominant positions you can perform in the shower are limited to the type of shower you have. However, there is always the good ole trusty shower wall no matter what type you have.

Here’s An Example of How to Show Off Your Dominant Side Using Something You Probably Already Have At Home…

I would also like to preface this with please clean your shower before you hook up in it. Your woman does not want to be thinking about all the grime and shavings stuck to your wall while you are pleasuring her. She will lose any want for intercourse and only be able to focus on how dirty your shower is. 

Now, you both are in the shower, very wet, very sexy. You start making out, it is getting hot and heavy real fast. Here is where you can insert a tiny bit of dominance just to get both your feet wet. (haha)

TRENDING:

Pick her up, please without slipping, and have her legs wrapped around your torso while you are inside of her. Then push her back up against a wall so she is supported and it takes some of the pressure off of you.

Again, do not drop her.

This is a great opening position into dominance because it allows you to have all of the control and it is still extremely hot for both of you. If your partner is scared by the conventional whips and leather of traditional BDSM, this is a great position to start in.

This position allows you to dictate the pace and depth and even where you are. You can carry her all the way back to your bedroom if you are strong enough.

That’s Not All…

Also, side note, it is sometimes way hotter if you just do it.

Don’t ask her if you can pick her up, just do it in one swift sweep. But, make sure you can handle her weight and also that your shower floor has enough traction.

I think you will find your partner will love this experience, and want more. 51 percent of the women mentioned in the BDSM study said that they wanted to be the submissive.

More woman than you think are turned on by BDSM. ????

TRENDING:

Keep taking baby steps until you find a place where both of you are comfortable, and then you can decide together if you want to keep going down the BDSM road.

Again, this does not have to be a lifestyle choice, you can use BDSM to simply spice up the sex sometimes.

You don’t have to commit to anything, but if this is something you have been wanting to check out but you are afraid your partner won’t be okay with it, I think you will be shocked to hear her answer.

And if you still don't believe me… just check this out:

3 Easy Rough Sex Moves You Can Use Anywhere, Anytime With ANY Woman (And She’ll Thank You For It)…

Now the shower sex scenario I described above is just one (SUPER hot) example of how you can

But obviously, not every time you have sex is going to be in the shower!

So when you’ve got a girl in bed with you.. (or on the couch, making out against the wall, etc.)…

There are a few other things you can do to show her your dominant side… and make her BEG you for more:

These moves are great, because you can vary the degree of how rough and assertive you are…

For example, some women just like some light spanking… while other girls get off on being tied up, and spanked until they’re covered in bruises.

(I personally fall somewhere right around the middle)

Generally speaking though MOST women love being submissive, and most women like their sex at least a little rough…

But the simple fact is… (and sadly I can say this from personal experience)… most guys are too scared to break these moves out in bed… ????

So stop being scared, take the lead, and get a little rough!

I know when I find a man who knows how to get rough in a good way, I am NOT letting him go without a fight… *grrrr* ????

821 Views

The post Why Men Who Are Dominant In Bed Have Better Sex Lives, More Pleasurable Orgasms & Higher Libidos Than Everyone Else (Scientifically Proven) appeared first on Gotham Club.

Source : Gotham Club More   

This site uses cookies. By continuing to browse the site you are agreeing to our use of cookies.