A letter from your newborn

NextDear mumma, You are my world, my everything. I know that’s a heavy load to carry sometimes, but I promise I won’t always be like this. I’m new to this big wide world, and I want to get to know you first so that I feel safe to explore it. Life can be challenging and […] The post A letter from your newborn appeared first on Newborn Baby.

A letter from your newborn

Dear mumma,

You are my world, my everything. I know that’s a heavy load to carry sometimes, but I promise I won’t always be like this. I’m new to this big wide world, and I want to get to know you first so that I feel safe to explore it.

Life can be challenging and exhausting for both of us while I adjust to life outside the cosy place I called home for nine months. We can get through it together, though, and I’m here to tell you how, mumma.

Firstly, you need to know that you can’t look after me unless you look after yourself. Resting after my birth is vital for both of us. It’s not a luxury. We have been through something immense, and we need time to rest and heal.

This downtime is also about us getting to know one another. You don’t need to read parenting books or even look at the clock. You just need to observe me, and you will learn to listen to your own intuition. You will soon become the expert on me and what I need.

I may cry a lot during certain periods, but this isn’t a reflection on you, or anything that you’re doing. You will know if there’s something not right with me and seek medical advice if necessary.

Otherwise, what I need more than anything and what will most likely keep me calm is to be close to you. Get yourself a comfortable carrier or wrap, and you can also have your hands free to do other things.

If I had my choice, I would probably be in your arms all day and all night, so you may feel alarmed or stressed that I won’t settle anywhere else for awhile. When I was in the womb, I never experienced loneliness, hunger, thirst, changing temperatures, or digestive discomfort. It’s all new for me, and it can scare and overwhelm me. Please be patient.

Instead, what you need to do is accept offers of help. I know it’s hard being the only one sometimes who can comfort me, so please get some support for yourself. Ask someone to bring meals, or help with other things in the house. Someone to mother you as you learn to become a mother yourself.

Do you know what? I will probably only fall asleep while you feed me, so use that amazing tool. Don’t listen to people who say that it’s a ‘bad habit’ or ‘negative sleep association’. There is no such thing. I sleep better when I have milk in my tummy, and I can feel your warmth and hear your heartbeat.

While we’re on that topic, if you’re struggling to breastfeed, please remember that it’s new for me too, so we’re both learning together. It can be really hard, so please ask for professional lactation support. If you can’t breastfeed or choose not to, remember that being informed and supported is best. You do what we both need to thrive and be happy, and that’s all that’s important.

Try to go with the flow, mumma. You don’t need to obsess over my sleep, awake windows, or schedules. This is our fourth trimester, and I want you to find some joy in it. I don’t want you to stop living your life.

If you enjoy meeting friends for coffee or for a walk, please do it. I crave sensory nourishment, and it also helps me to sleep better. Find your support network because you’ll need it, and they’ll need you. Parenting isn’t meant to be done alone.

I don’t want you to feel lonely and isolated. I want you to get out and about, and I’ll be so happy to tag along. When you’re happy and content, I can feel it. If you’re finding life as a new mum hard, I understand. If you’re feeling like you’re not coping, I don’t want you to ignore it. It’s not a sign that you’re failing, so I need for you to get help. Please. You matter.

All I know is that I love you, and you’re doing an amazing job. Be kind to yourself. One day soon, I promise I’ll show you how much you mean to me. If you feel like you’re doing nothing now but giving me love, you’re doing everything. 

With unconditional love from your newborn baby xo

The post A letter from your newborn appeared first on Newborn Baby.

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Toilet learning and toilet training: what’s the difference?

NextToilet learning and toilet training are two very different approaches. Whichever you decide on will depend on what suits you, your child, and your lifestyle. We hope the following comparisons will help to inform your decision when the time comes. Who leads the way? Toilet training is adult-directed with the attitude that they must ‘train’ […] The post Toilet learning and toilet training: what’s the difference? appeared first on Newborn Baby.

Toilet learning and toilet training: what’s the difference?

Toilet learning and toilet training are two very different approaches. Whichever you decide on will depend on what suits you, your child, and your lifestyle. We hope the following comparisons will help to inform your decision when the time comes.

Who leads the way?

  • Toilet training is adult-directed with the attitude that they must ‘train’ their child.
  • Toilet learning is child-led in which they’re involved in their own learning.

How long does it take?

  • Toilet training may involve a time pressure on your child (you may have heard of those ‘toilet train your toddler in 3 days’ programs).
  • Toilet learning is at your child’s own pace without any external pressure. It may take several months.

When is the best time to start?

  • Toilet training starts usually when the adult decides is the right time, or with the goal of having the child ‘trained’ by a certain age.
  • Toilet learning starts when the child shows readiness signs.

What about rewards/bribes/punishments?

  • Toilet training uses an external reward system, including food, stickers, toys, and charts.
  • Toilet learning acknowledges that it is a skill that is learned by the child, and learning that on their own is reward enough.

What language is used?

  • Toilet training uses words such as ‘accidents’.
  • Toilet learning is linked to the child’s self esteem, so there are only lessons, not ‘accidents’. Genuine praise is important.

Want to learn more about toilet learning?

Toilet learning is a process that requires a positive attitude from us. We need to commit to it, and accept that it comes with lots of washing, and wet and soiled flooring. What we don’t want is our children to see our frustration or impatience when it’s taking a lot longer than we expected.

Just like learning to walk and talk, there are steps that children slowly build on. We need to acknowledge that there’s a lot to this learning, and if a child senses our agenda or negative attitude, it can have a negative impact on the process.

The most important thing we can do is trust in our child that they will learn in their own time. Every child is different and toilet ready at a different age.

The Montessori approach to toilet learning starts at birth with cloth nappies, and then children transition to cloth underpants when they start walking. This allows them to feel moisture, and learn to recognise the wet sensation as a result of urinating.

While the child is young, they are often put on the potty when they wake in the morning and from naps, before and after meals, and before bed; all just part of their daily routine without any pressure. This helps them to become familiar and comfortable with the toilet or potty, and they can practice getting off and on it.

Ultimately, it should be a positive, fun, and relaxed experience. Follow and respect your child’s development, and they will learn in their own time.

For more detailed information, you might like to read these articles before you get started:

10 toddler toilet learning essentials 

Toilet learning: a practical guide

 

The post Toilet learning and toilet training: what’s the difference? appeared first on Newborn Baby.

Source : New Born Baby More   

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