After Removing Hamas from Terror List, EU Decides to Stop Calling Projectiles from Gaza ‘Rockets’

Following its decision to remove the Islamist militant group Hamas from its list of terrorist organizations, a top court of the European Union will now meet to decide what to call the aerial projectiles launched from the Gaza Strip at Israeli cities. While Sweden has proposed calling the projectiles, previously known as missiles or rockets, ‘aeronautic modern The post After Removing Hamas from Terror List, EU Decides to Stop Calling Projectiles from Gaza ‘Rockets’ appeared first on The Mideast Beast.

After Removing Hamas from Terror List, EU Decides to Stop Calling Projectiles from Gaza ‘Rockets’

Following its decision to remove the Islamist militant group Hamas from its list of terrorist organizations, a top court of the European Union will now meet to decide what to call the aerial projectiles launched from the Gaza Strip at Israeli cities.

While Sweden has proposed calling the projectiles, previously known as missiles or rockets, ‘aeronautic modern art,’ Spain has suggested they be defined as ‘scrap metal donations’ or ‘failed satellite launches.’

“While we acknowledge that, from time to time, large pieces of metal do come flying out of Gaza and, on occasion, do land in major Israeli population centers, we believe that using military terms to define these objects is misleading and counterproductive,” EU Foreign Minister Federica Mogherini told The Mideast Beast. “It implies that Hamas is some kind of a violent or malevolent organization, which we’ve already decided isn’t true.”

RELATED: Hamas to EU: Put us Back on Terrorism Blacklist Immediately 

In addition, the EU must decide what to call the fatal shooting of suspected informants and political opponents, previously called ‘executions’ or ‘murders.’

“We’re thinking of going with ‘involuntary humanitarian euthanasia,’” explained the EU foreign minister. “Israel has made life in the Gaza Strip so miserable that tying someone to a motorcycle and dragging their lifeless body through the streets is really an act of mercy.”

EU officials admitted they still had a lot of work ahead of them, including creating new terms for kidnappings, suicide bombings and catchy pop songs promising death and destruction. They’ve reportedly asked the IDF for assistance, an acknowledgment that any organisation that can rename ‘bombing your house’ as ‘roof knocking’ really has something to add to the debate.

 

*Repost for #ThrowBackThursday

The post After Removing Hamas from Terror List, EU Decides to Stop Calling Projectiles from Gaza ‘Rockets’ appeared first on The Mideast Beast.

Source : The Mideast Beast More   

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Government Gives $7 Billion Subsidy To Bitcoin After Learning It Involves Mining

"Someone told me it involved mining and I said, 'we need to start subsidising this immediately"

Government Gives $7 Billion Subsidy To Bitcoin After Learning It Involves Mining

The federal government has given Bitcoin a $7 billion cheque and promised exclusive access to cabinet ministers, after learning that the entire concept revolves around mining.

Minister for Energy and Emissions, Angus Taylor, said he wished he had known about Bitcoin mining sooner.

“I just dismissed the whole thing as something tech weirdos were into. But then someone said it involved mining and I said, we need to start subsidising this immediately.

“The only thing more Australian than expending enormous amounts of fossil fuels to mine a precious resource, is to provide a government subsidy to expend enormous amounts of fossil fuels to mine a precious resource,” Mr Taylor said, adding that he looked forward to having dinner with Bitcoin executives to receive advice on government policy soon.

Mr Taylor said Bitcoin was the perfect candidate for government funding. “I’m told that Bitcoin creates enormous wealth for a small amount of people, while ruining the environment, without creating many jobs. It’s basically coal with a fancy new logo!”

Prime Minister Scott Morrison backed the new subsidy, saying he looked forward to a photo opportunity in a high vis vest and hard hat at a Bitcoin mine soon.

Source : The Shovel More   

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