BDS Announces Boycott of the Palestinian Authority, Citing “Close Economic Ties With Israel”

In a surprising turn of events, organizers of the BDS movement (Boycott, Divestment, and Sanctions) have announced that the internationally recognized political representative of the Palestinians – the Palestinian Authority (PA) – will become a target of their activities. The BDS movement, originally a place where anti-Semites could hide behind a more civil banner, is The post BDS Announces Boycott of the Palestinian Authority, Citing “Close Economic Ties With Israel” appeared first on The Mideast Beast.

BDS Announces Boycott of the Palestinian Authority, Citing “Close Economic Ties With Israel”

In a surprising turn of events, organizers of the BDS movement (Boycott, Divestment, and Sanctions) have announced that the internationally recognized political representative of the Palestinians – the Palestinian Authority (PA) – will become a target of their activities. The BDS movement, originally a place where anti-Semites could hide behind a more civil banner, is dedicated to convincing people, governments, and corporations that Israel is worth thinking about in their spare time. Still attempting to boycott anything related to Israel, it appears that BDS is collecting controversies like Jews collect pennies (to put it in terms they’d understand). Despite this questionable position, support for BDS remains strong, leading many followers to wonder about their newest announcement concerning the PA.

“The PA has all the hallmarks of an organization we’d like to boycott,” BDS leader Jon Katz told The Mideast Beast. “The PA does business with Israel, works on joint projects with Israel, many of the people it represents work in Israel and for Israelis. Just look at a map- it’s even touching Israel. I have to tell you, it makes me sick.” Katz hopes to see international support for the PA evaporate, and as a result, Israel along with it. “When you really think about it, the Israeli military industrial complex needs the PA; how could they justify buying so many guns for shooting civilians without an enemy to fight?” And with this point, the logic of the argument is revealed like the horns on a Jew when taking off his hat.

The post BDS Announces Boycott of the Palestinian Authority, Citing “Close Economic Ties With Israel” appeared first on The Mideast Beast.

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Israel to host 2022 Winter Olympics

In a surprising turn of events, Israel has been announced as the host of the 2022 Winter Olympics. An IOC spokesperson explained the decision “We at the IOC believe it is important to please everyone, all of the time. Human rights abuses aren’t very nice, are they? We didn’t really like the look of Kazakhstan The post Israel to host 2022 Winter Olympics appeared first on The Mideast Beast.

Israel to host 2022 Winter Olympics

In a surprising turn of events, Israel has been announced as the host of the 2022 Winter Olympics.

An IOC spokesperson explained the decision “We at the IOC believe it is important to please everyone, all of the time. Human rights abuses aren’t very nice, are they? We didn’t really like the look of Kazakhstan – we watched ‘Borat’ about 3 times before coming to that decision. And while we all agree that Chinese takeout is the best, we don’t really want to see the actual process behind it. Namely children, sweatshops, and meat that we in the West generally refer to as ‘pets’.”

RELATED: Israel Announces Plan to Build 2,000 Hurdles in East Jerusalem

“We believe that holding the Winter Olympics in Israel will be an easy way of uniting the International Community, as we all unanimously hate that pesky little country. Though to be honest, we’re pretty sure that many aren’t even sure why they hate Israel. Eh, bygones. What matters is that everyone’s happy. Plus do bear in mind that Israel gets to be in the Eurovision Song Contest, and I want to emphasize ‘Euro’, so this place is certainly used to some odd decisions.”

“And once we told the Arab League that Olympic events usually bankrupt the host country, they were fully on board. Done!”

Addressing the claims that hosting will be problematic due to the lack of snow in Israel, a Knesset spokesperson told The Mideast Beast: “We’ll be importing it from Assville, Colorado. The US is totally up for us to host the games. We’ve never seen them so excited and pushy.”

The post Israel to host 2022 Winter Olympics appeared first on The Mideast Beast.

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