CIA Announces It Will Fight Terrorists with Hashtags Instead of Drone Strikes

After releasing a new ad highlighting the agency’s progressive credentials, the CIA announced that it will no longer target enemies through espionage, drone strikes and assassinations but will instead focus on the battlefield of Twitter with viral hashtags and devastating clapbacks. The change in strategy comes as the agency looks to boost its recruitment among The post CIA Announces It Will Fight Terrorists with Hashtags Instead of Drone Strikes appeared first on The Mideast Beast.

CIA Announces It Will Fight Terrorists with Hashtags Instead of Drone Strikes

After releasing a new ad highlighting the agency’s progressive credentials, the CIA announced that it will no longer target enemies through espionage, drone strikes and assassinations but will instead focus on the battlefield of Twitter with viral hashtags and devastating clapbacks.

The change in strategy comes as the agency looks to boost its recruitment among millennials, who are less likely to have foreign language skills or military experience but display far greater ability to spend hours arguing on the internet with strangers.

“ISIS ???? SHOULD ???? STOP ???? BEHEADING ???? YAZIDIS” one Tweet issued by the CIA on Thursday read.

Another stated:

“KIM JONG UN SHOULD ACCEPT DEMOCRACY!

KIM JONG UN SHOULD ACCEPT DEMOCRACY!

KIM JONG UN SHOULD ACCEPT DEMOCRACY!

KIM JONG UN SHOULD ACCEPT DEMOCRACY!

KIM JONG UN SHOULD ACCEPT DEMOCRACY!”

The tweets have so far seemed militarily ineffective, as both ISIS and the Taliban regained territory in Syria and Afghanistan, respectively, after blocking the CIA on Twitter. But newly appointed CIA Director Robin DiAngelo says the new strategy is already showing results.

“In its latest execution videos, we have seen members of the Somali terror group Al-Shabaab renounce their cisgender male privilege, while an al Qaeda suicide bomber is believed to have yelled ‘Black Lives Matter!’ before detonating his explosive vest at a kindergarten,” DiAngelo said. “We are finally winning the war on terror.”

The post CIA Announces It Will Fight Terrorists with Hashtags Instead of Drone Strikes appeared first on The Mideast Beast.

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“Now Is Not The Time To Talk About Building A Quarantine Facility”

"Today is a day to talk about a potential war with China”

“Now Is Not The Time To Talk About Building A Quarantine Facility”

There will be other times to talk about building a purpose built facility to properly accommodate returning Australians, but that time is not now, the Prime Minister has told journalists. 

In a press conference to announce imaginary increases to childcare funding, Mr Morrison batted away questions about quarantine facilities.

“I know that some of you are desperate to talk about that, but it is not appropriate. Not now; not today. Remember it has only been 14 months since this virus hit our shores. It is too soon. Let’s wait for this virus to pass first, before we speculate about how we might tackle it,” he said.

The PM said speaking about these matters now was insensitive. 

“It is in poor taste to talk about the failure to respond to a pandemic while that pandemic is still taking place. 

“There will be other days to talk about how we’ve massively fucked this up – choosing to jail Australian citizens rather than providing proper quarantine facilities. But today is not that day. Today is a day to talk about a potential war with China”. 

Source : The Shovel More   

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