‘Do I Need To Wear A Mask While Doing Lines Of Coke?’ And 9 Other Questions From Sydney’s Eastern Suburbs

#4 Density limits: "How many litres of lip filler can I have per square centimetre?"

‘Do I Need To Wear A Mask While Doing Lines Of Coke?’ And 9 Other Questions From Sydney’s Eastern Suburbs

With Sydney’s Eastern suburbs facing a growing outbreak, we’ve collated some of the most common questions about the new restrictions.

#1 Distancing: Do I need to keep a 1.5 metre distance from my Porsche Cayenne and the Land Rover Vogue next to me in the supermarket carpark, or can I just be a fuckwit and park across two spaces as usual?

#2 Masks: Are masks required while doing lines of coke outside, or just while in homes and offices?

#3 QR Codes: Whenever I go to check in at my day spa with my phone, my phone’s camera is always pointing back at me (I think I permanently changed the setting ages ago). Do I just show the person at reception the selfie I took, or should I upload it to Instagram with a #Covidlyfe hashtag?

#4 Density limits: How many litres of lip filler can I have per square centimetre?  

#5 Panic buying: In amongst all the craziness, we bought three investment properties last week. Are there likely to be per-customer limits introduced?

#6 Police powers: How much is the fine if your mask doesn’t match your activewear? If I see a crime being committed should I report it to police?

#7 Tests: I’ve heard COVID tests involve putting something up your nose. Can I just pay in cash when I get there?

#8 Symptoms: What are the first signs that house prices are about to drop?

#9 Differing Viewpoints: I understand there are a lot of different views and we need to be open to all of them. But can we all agree that the window table at Icebergs on a Saturday afternoon is the best?

#10 Exceptions: My Mum is desperately sick and lives in Britain. Can I still go to Port Douglas for a girls’ weekend next month?  

Source : The Shovel More   

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Biden Gives al Qaeda List of Buildings to Not Blow Up

Following a successful meeting with Russian President Vladimir Putin in which he presented a list of critical infrastructure off limits to cyberattacks, US President Joe Biden announced that he has sent the terror group al Qaeda a list of 16 critical buildings to not fly a plane into. Biden sent the list by fax, stating The post Biden Gives al Qaeda List of Buildings to Not Blow Up appeared first on The Mideast Beast.

Biden Gives al Qaeda List of Buildings to Not Blow Up

Following a successful meeting with Russian President Vladimir Putin in which he presented a list of critical infrastructure off limits to cyberattacks, US President Joe Biden announced that he has sent the terror group al Qaeda a list of 16 critical buildings to not fly a plane into.

Biden sent the list by fax, stating that al Qaeda would be in “a whole world of hurting” if any of its adherents fly planes into any of the sites on the list.

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“If you chicken-hearted mollycoddle terrorists decide to launch another devastating attack against America, you’d best stay as far away as possible from the buildings I name below,” Biden wrote. “If you think you can mess with me, I’ll meet you for a push-up contest anytime, anyplace.”

Critics of the president were stunned, noting that the list could give al Qaeda a blueprint of the most critical and vulnerable locations in the country. Those concerns were alleviated, however, when the list was found to comprise 16 Häagen-Dazs locations across Delaware.

The post Biden Gives al Qaeda List of Buildings to Not Blow Up appeared first on The Mideast Beast.

Source : The Mideast Beast More   

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