The federal government has given Bitcoin a $7 billion cheque and promised exclusive access to cabinet ministers, after learning that the entire concept revolves around mining.
Minister for Energy and Emissions, Angus Taylor, said he wished he had known about Bitcoin mining sooner.
“I just dismissed the whole thing as something tech weirdos were into. But then someone said it involved mining and I said, we need to start subsidising this immediately.
“The only thing more Australian than expending enormous amounts of fossil fuels to mine a precious resource, is to provide a government subsidy to expend enormous amounts of fossil fuels to mine a precious resource,” Mr Taylor said, adding that he looked forward to having dinner with Bitcoin executives to receive advice on government policy soon.
Mr Taylor said Bitcoin was the perfect candidate for government funding. “I’m told that Bitcoin creates enormous wealth for a small amount of people, while ruining the environment, without creating many jobs. It’s basically coal with a fancy new logo!”
Prime Minister Scott Morrison backed the new subsidy, saying he looked forward to a photo opportunity in a high vis vest and hard hat at a Bitcoin mine soon.
Dear American Joe, Thank you for ordering more shit than you will ever need. Your kid’s plastic Paw Patrol toys will survive long after the last human dies from the future Alien Syphilian Sex Party. This is my final letter and only warning to you, American Joe. Save yourself before us Gods spread our seed through […]
The post Final Letter From Your Mailman, an Alien God appeared first on Robot Butt.
Dear American Joe,
Thank you for ordering more shit than you will ever need. Your kid’s plastic Paw Patrol toys will survive long after the last human dies from the future Alien Syphilian Sex Party.
This is my final letter and only warning to you, American Joe. Save yourself before us Gods spread our seed through the land, and the world becomes overrun by junk mail, ESTDs, and bastard children.
You may think I only carry your mail, that I’m some regular schmuck in a coffee-splashed, polyester blue uniform designed in the 70s, traipsing around having casual sex with everyone in the neighborhood, having beers with the boys over lunch, and peeping in all the windows I shouldn’t be.
I don’t want to come right out and tell you that I am God because that sounds crazier than hell so I’ll spell it out instead… I AM YOUR GOD, YOUR ALIEN PAPA… I AM your sweaty, 365-day-tube-sock-locker-room-smelling, letter-carrying, extraterrestrial, cosmic-traveling God.
This is your prophecy, for you and you alone:
You will default on your mortgage. You will lose your life savings. You will get a divorce. Your children will hate you. You will contract syphilis.
You know how I know you’ll default on your mortgage? Because you watch the movie Over the Top starring Sylvester Stallone every Friday night with an arm wrestling bandana on and wristbands. You know how I know you will lose your life savings? Because you listen to the top 40 on the way to work and always throw an extra quarter in the tollbooth hoping it will bring you luck. You know how I know you will get a divorce? Because you haven’t done the dishes in three months and you sit in the bathtub until your knee caps prune over like a wrinkly old monkey butt. You know how I know your children will hate you? Because your belly’s growing bigger, your dick is growing backwards, and no one respects you anymore, Joe; not even you respects you.
And finally, You know how I know you get syphilis? Because your wife… Joe… your wife.
You can alter the future, Joe. Only if you obey my simple conditions: Stop requesting for me to “keep the bills” with that DiCaprio shit-eating meme grin, or for me to pay them for you, or if I finally have your million-dollar check. Or asking “if it’s hot enough out there for me?” It makes me want to put my mail satchel over your head and beat you with your own little toe-nibbling, yip-yapping shitzu. Don’t believe I will? Go down to 248 Chestnut Hollows Circle and ask Mr. Collins. I blackened both his eyes with the snout of his fluffy little bitch last Tuesday morning.
I am the first of many to come. We surveilled your country from the safety of our planet, Intelligence, for a parcel of years now. After countless hours of obvious observational research, we easily determined that earthlings like you will believe anything they hear, believe all that they read, and trust any face on the TV screen. We determined our best route towards achieving our goal of total world command was to clandestinely insert me into the well-trusted, self-proclaimed center of the universe’s delivery service to appear as a common man to better win the trust of the majority of the population, all while an unknown syndicate lines my pockets with billions of dollars of fun money, allowing me to climb higher up the social ladder until finally, I will have reached the idiotic notoriety to buy a reality television show guaranteeing me the power and a megaphone for doing all the shouting and hand-waving necessary to become the one true voice for patriots both young and old.
With that kind of power, when I am there at the top, our mission for total command will have been successful. Me and my proud species will have merrily sexed our way into our climax of world control by riding out our carefully planned, splashing tidal wave of extraterrestrial syphilis.
Your Divine Mailman
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Sydney racing moves back to Randwick on Saturday. The track is currently rated a heavy eight with no more showers predicted, so it looks likely to stay around that mark. The rail is out three metres the entire circuit. Below are my thoughts on the program. Race 1: 1200 metres, two-year-old handicap Verne was a touch unlucky in defeat on debut, not having clear running until too late. That was against In The Congo, who he meets again here. He then went on to score comfortably at his second start. Gun trainer Annabelle Neasham has suggested through the week that he may have been her slipper runner if things had have panned out earlier. With a few early scratchings, he comes into barrier six at this stage, which looks sure to provide him...
According to a report from , the Chinese smartphone company Xiaomi has patented three new smartphone designs with huge camera arrays developed in a collaboration with Samsung. The three new patents were filed by Xiaomi Mobile Software in March of this year (2021) with the documentation on the patents published on June 11th. The first phone on the list seems to be the most advanced model with a design and is inspired by the Samsung Galaxy S21. The cameras sit on the top left of the device and stretch down nearly 1/2 the length of the phone. The camera lenses are stacked vertically with a narrow strip flash to the left of the stacked lenses.
TAMPA, Fla. (AP) — Brayden Point and Ondrej Palat delivered early goals and NHL playoff scoring leader Nikita Kucherov had three more assists to help the Tampa Bay Lightning rebound from a series-opening loss and beat the New York Islanders 4-2 in Game 2 of the Stanley Cup semifinals on Tuesday night. Kucherov had his fourth game with three or more points this postseason, assisting on goals by Point, Palat and Victor Hedman. The defending champions improved to 12-0 in games following a playoff loss since start of last year’s title run. Point scored a goal for the fifth straight game, hiking his league-leading playoff total to 10. Palat put Tampa Bay ahead for good with a second-period goal that replays showed was scored with the Lightning having too many men...
Discover How To Increase Sexual Potency Safely & Naturally Using These Scientifically Proven Tips From An Expert–Plus How to Boost Your Bedroom Performance as Soon As Tonight… One of the most common complaints among men is a lack of sexual potency. While this term can be used to describe any number of aspects, it's often used to describe the ability to induce and maintain an erection hard enough to conduct satisfactory sexual contact. The most common solution for many is to opt for an erector drug like Cialis or Viagra. Over time, there's been an alarming increase in the percentage of men resorting to these drugs for potency.1 While these items require prescriptions in some countries, they're not difficult to get....
( is a collection of stories, updates, and videos about anything and everything inspired by the comics of Marvel, DC, and more. For comic book movies, TV shows, merchandise, events, and whatever catches our eye, this is the place to find anything that falls through the cracks.) In this edition, of Superhero Bits: See Green Lantern‘s daughter stirring up trouble in the Stargirl season 2 trailer Go behind the scenes of the new Guardians of the Galaxy video game Get details on a clip with Captain Britain from Marvel’s What If…? Watch a new clip from Batman: The Long Halloween Part One...
Red Bull motorsport boss Helmut Marko believes George Russell's move to Mercedes for 2022 is a foregone conclusion and could subsequently lead to Valtteri Bottas' return to Williams. Mercedes is set to soon enter contract talks with both Lewis Hamilton and Valtteri Bottas. So far, all signs point to the seven-time world champion remaining on the grid in 2022 based on the Briton's most recent comments. But a cloud of uncertainty is incessantly growing over Bottas' fate, leaving most in the F1 paddock, including Marko, believing that the Finn's days at Mercedes are numbered. "It would be the logical step", Marko told F1-Insider.com, referring to Russell's move to Mercedes. "You can't hold it off any longer. Otherwise, the funding no longer makes sense....
On March 8, former Brazilian presidential candidate Fernando Haddad was at home, working on research, when he received a call from an aide of former president Luiz Inácio “Lula” Da Silva. The call brought important news: the criminal convictions against Haddad’s friend and political ally, Lula, had been vacated. That morning, Supreme Court Justice Edson Fachin had overturned two convictions against the former president for money laundering and corruption, restoring his political rights and allowing him to run in the 2022 presidential election. The news was received with great relief by supporters, with disgust by the opposition, and as a political bomb throughout society. The presidential race for 2022 had started. Lula, who was president of...
During its media briefing call yesterday, Airbus talked about the future of the Airbus A220 in China. While the aircraft currently has no customers in the region, Airbus is confident that there is a clear market for the short-haul jet. Let’s find out more about the A220 interest in China. The A220 has found strong success in North America and Europe but is still catching on in the rest of the world, including China. Photo: AirbusComing up The Airbus A220 family has been quite successful in recent years, bringing over 600 orders and over 150 deliveries. However, most of this success has been restricted to...
Fahad Al-Rajhi shares some tips to strengthen your elevator pitch into one that successfully engages potential investors and earns you the funding you desire.
The post Top 7 Tips For Delivering A Successful Elevator Pitch appeared first on Young Upstarts.