Guy Who Sat Down On Couch 3 Minutes Ago Already Expert In Canoe Slalom

"The way she’s navigating those downstream gates makes me think she’s on song here"

Guy Who Sat Down On Couch 3 Minutes Ago Already Expert In Canoe Slalom

32 year-old Hugh McInnis, who sat down to watch the Olympics a few minutes ago, is a leading authority on the ins and outs of Canoe Slalom, it has emerged.

“She’s going to want to be careful in the upstream gate in this eddy,” McInnis exclaimed, alerting others around him that this was the third Olypmic Games for the current competitor.  

“You just get the feeling that this could be her day. I’m not calling it just yet, but the way she’s navigating those downstream gates just makes me think she’s on song here. It has echoes of her run in London 2012” he said, pointing out that she’d want to pick up the pace for the last five gates to put any nagging doubts to bed.

“Good breakout. That’s it, back into the downstream. Ooh – nearly copped a 2 second penalty there,” he said, remarking on how much the equipment had changed in canoe slalom over the years. “The technology has come on in leaps and bounds. You wouldn’t have seen this sort of gear in ’96 or even in Sydney.

“Yep, she’s done it. Well done. Great race – stuck to her own plan, just like she did in the Worlds”.

McInnis will become an expert in rhythmic gymnastics tomorrow.  

Source : The Shovel More   

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Virus Struggling To Keep Up With Which LGAs It Can And Can’t Travel To

"It's all getting a bit confusing"

Virus Struggling To Keep Up With Which LGAs It Can And Can’t Travel To

Saying it was all staring to get a little bit confusing, the COVID-19 virus was today waiting for further clarification about which NSW Local Government Areas it could enter and which ones it should avoid.

“As far as I can tell, I can leave my LGA to exercise, unless it’s more than 10km or 5km from my home, and I’m wearing a mask, unless I cross into a new LGA, in which case I can take my mask off until I go indoors or return back to the original LGA, which I shouldn’t have left in the first place unless there was a reason to leave. That’s what I’ve taken from today’s update; we’ll see what changes tomorrow,” the virus said.

Asked what LGA it resided in, the virus replied, “Literally no idea. Who knows that? Who goes around saying what LGA they’re from? Is that even a thing?”

The virus said in the end it had decided to stay put and wait for further announcements.

Source : The Shovel More   

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