It’s hemophagocytic lymphohistiocytosis! Even though the sound of it
Is something quite atrocious, If you say you’ve heard of it You’ll always sound precocious. Hemophagocytic lymphohistiocytosis!
Um diddle diddle, diddle um, diddle ay
The HLH afflicted me
When I was just a lad.
With fever – it was bad.
My cell counts and fibrinogen
Were nowhere to be found,
Triglycerides were super high
My head was spinning ‘round!
Continue reading Hemophagocytic Lymphohistiocytosis at GomerBlog.
With the overload of endless advice about how one should be dealing with the chaos in the world, in one’s brain and at one’s Costco (I don’t understand which line to stand behind – blue or green?!), I do believe I may have stumbled, half-assed, into the greatest approach of them all. On a walk […]
The post Frightened Frozen Rabbit: My New Approach to Life appeared first on Robot Butt.
With the overload of endless advice about how one should be dealing with the chaos in the world, in one’s brain and at one’s Costco (I don’t understand which line to stand behind – blue or green?!), I do believe I may have stumbled, half-assed, into the greatest approach of them all.
On a walk with my dog the other day, I spotted a rabbit. I realized it was a rabbit and not a rabbit statue, only after I stood there confused for seven minutes.
Real rabbit? Fake rabbit? Mirage of a rabbit brought on by last night’s odd-tasting salmon? My brain was on fire.
I live in a place where rabbits run free. This is a ridiculous statement, but I shall write it because I enjoy the thought of bunnies performing acts of cuteness against their will. “By God, you will munch on that carrot and wrinkle your nose, or there will be hell to pay! Do you hear me? HELL!”
Back to my jaunt…
The rabbit, who I shall call Joseph because it is dignified and becomes him, was frozen in terror. He spotted my dog making a beeline down the suburban road and thought he needed a plan toot sweet.
We were too close for him to make a getaway, although he totally could have. I was in flip-flops and had zero desire to go “wabbit hunting.” Hence, Joseph was in an excellent position to leap off and continue his lovely rabbit day.
Nevertheless, he chose “rabbit statue” as his survival technique for reasons only Joseph understands and totally committed. No joke. Like Nicolas-Cage-Leaving-Las-Vegas committed.
Now, when I say Joseph remained still, I mean he remained COMPLETELY STILL! My dog walked right past him and he was only three feet away. I, myself, could not detect life.
Not a twitch, not a breath. CRAZY!
I kept my eyes on Joseph, and, as we got a little further down the road, he did the equivalent of a human running with his hair on fire and headed for the nearest bush.
His time in the bush was filled with what I can only imagine was deep breathing, and many shots of tequila.
This chance encounter made me think of two things:
1. Bravo, Joseph. Bravo.
2. Joseph is on to something BIG!
So, I did what anyone would do in this situation. I went home and decided to completely change how I approach everything in my life.
There was one crucial thing that Joseph did that ensured his survival and, thus, his lasting happiness:
Joseph pretended he was a statue in the face of danger or uncertainty.
You would never catch Joseph nervously flailing about as he wrestled with an issue or scary situation. Oh no. When Joseph faces a problem, he simply stops moving and pretends to be an inanimate object.
This will be my new go-to move of choice.
Next time I’m forced to deal with a thorny situation, no longer will I search for the right words or awkwardly squirm while I hold down the contents of my lunch. That’s for suckers. From now on, I’ll just stand silent and still like a mannequin, watch folks grow weary and perplexed and then sadly walk away.
At the very least, pretending to be a marble monument gives others pause and makes them question your mental fitness. At the end of the day, isn’t that what all of us really want… to be treated like we’re incapacitated and unable to function on our own?
I don’t know about you, but life is hard enough, especially these days. The less people expect from me, the better.
So far, the frightened frozen rabbit technique is working like a charm. I must warn you, however; this isn’t for everyone. You might be ridiculed and possibly hospitalized against your will.
But I can guarantee you one thing: you will NOT have to do whatever you were trying to avoid.
Tackling life head-on?
Having a tough conversation?
Working on a sticky issue at work?
Might I instead offer Frightened Frozen Rabbit?
Just stand where you are – completely still – and don’t say a word for as long as you can. Or until everyone leaves – or cries out of frustration.
Now go get a snack.
You’ve earned it!
The post Frightened Frozen Rabbit: My New Approach to Life appeared first on Robot Butt.
Daniel’s birth certificate is marked “female.” But Daniel does not identify as exclusively male nor female. Daniel is nonbinary. “I’m masculine leaning,” the 18-year-old says. Daniel knew they were not a girl by about age 4. But the disconnect between Daniel’s body and gender identity became unbearable during puberty. “I hated showers because I didn’t like looking at my body,” Daniel says. “I just felt really uncomfortable with the idea of being female.” At age 13, Daniel came out to their mother as transgender. Someone who is transgender has a gender identity that does not match the sex assigned to them at birth. After coming out, Daniel started seeing a therapist who specialized in gender. The next year, they were referred to a doctor who prescribed testosterone. This hormone...
Since his wife’s tragic death, multiple tabloids have reported John Travolta is now ready to start dating again. But the list of potential suitors varies between magazines, so let’s check out the latest Travolta dating rumors! Kirstie Alley Using Scientology As A Way Into John Travolta’s Life? In July, the Globe said that fellow Scientologist Kirstie Alley had a “secret plan” to make John Travolta her next husband. Apparently, Alley always had feelings for Travolta and “almost ran off and married” Travolta at one point if they hadn’t been seeing other people at the time. According to the outlet, Alley’s “secret plan” involved moving closer to Travolta. The tabloid pointed out that Alley had recently sold her homes in Los...
All of the goodness of fall treats combine in these delicious pumpkin pecan pie bars. Layers of buttery shortbread, sweet pecan, and spiced pumpkin will have you hooked! Is it just me, or do the best treats come out in the fall? I almost drool thinking about pumpkin snickerdoodles, pumpkin cream cheese truffles, and pumpkin pie caramel blondies. These are a few more tasty treats enhanced with a little fall flair!
Two princes, once close, have now gone their separate ways. If this was the 1200s, Prince Harry and Prince William could be expected to wage a war over the throne. Luckily, it’s 2021, so the only fighting appears on the covers of tabloids. The very public breakup between Harry and William has caused immense speculation about their personal life. You can’t argue they’re as close as they once were, and that narrative just too juicy to pass up. The pot was only stirred further when Harry returned to the United Kingdom for the unveiling of his mother’s statue. It was the first time the brothers had appeared outside of a church or funeral in years. Did the two get in a nasty fight? Are they more estranged than ever, and did the...
Exercise. Eat well. Get enough sleep. Blah blah blah, enough already! If this is your reaction when you get common wellness advice, hold the phone. I’m about to tell you something that will blow your mind! Yes, it’s about sleep. But you’re going to want to keep reading! I mean, you already know that getting enough sleep is important for a lot of reasons. Sleep helps your brain function properly, it can improve your mood, and many studies show it supports your heart health as well. Anyone who has ever tried to function after an all-nighter can tell you this without cracking a single scientific journal. You just feel crummy, am I right? SPECIAL: ...
INSIDE: Here is a super easy and fun leaf spider craft for Halloween! This is a great craft to do with toddlers and preschoolers! Exciting Sensory Bins for Curious Kids Did you know I wrote a book of sensory bins? Click here for more information Exciting...
Each week, Cut the Crap Investing founder Dale Roberts shares financial headlines and offers context for Canadian investors. The U.S. earnings beat just keeps coming For week one of the earnings season, 41 S&P 500 companies reported their third-quarter results, and 80% beat earnings expectations, according to . While reports have been strong, investors are looking for commentary from corporate America about supply chain issues and inflation. Last week’s earnings season was just the spark the markets needed, after giving back the gains of the Summer of 2021. And moving through the week ending October 24, that beat record ticks up to 84%. ...
The CBI and 40 industry trade associations have issued a statement calling on the Chancellor to consider sweeping reforms of the business rates system in the forthcoming Budget later this month, emphasising the urgency of reform. Combined, the statement represents the views of employers of around 261,000 businesses and nine million employees, including British Retail Consortium, UK Hospitality and SMMT. They are arguing that reform of the long derided business rates system is essential if the Government is to reach its green investment targets. Autumn Budget The autumn Budget will take place on 27 October and these trade associations think this is an ideal time to reform what they collectively see as an...
First launched in 1953 and remaining in constant production ever since, the Rolex Submariner is the single most famous dive watch in the entire world. Although it was originally created specifically for scuba diving, the Submariner has transcended its tool watch roots and is now worn by countless individuals around the world – both above and below the surface of the ocean. Produced for only a couple of years during the 1950s, the Rolex Submariner 6536 is one of the very earliest iterations of the brand’s iconic dive watch and despite its remarkably short production run, a surprising range of variations exists within this single reference. Although it is not the most famous vintage Rolex Submariner (that honor would likely go to the ref. 6538, which was worn by Sean Connery in the...
Steve Flesch has been approaching golf more relaxed recently, and it’s paying off this week at the Dominion Energy Charity Classic at The Country Club of Virginia. “I’m not overthinking it at night,” Flesch noted after his first round Friday. “I’m just playing golf, having fun out here. That’s really all I’m doing.” He entered Saturday’s round just one shot back of Steven Alker, and his day started slowly making the turn with a pedestrian 1-under 35. Back-to-back birdies on 10 and 11 got him right back in the mix and another circle on 15 propelled him into the lead. The American would add another birdie on the par 5 last to get to 13 under. Coming into the week, Flesch had eight finishes...