Self-sabotage: Here’s how to stop being your own worst enemy
Self-sabotage is negative behaviour and thought patterns that restrict you from achieving your full potential in life and love.
When your relationships, career and personal goals never seem to go anywhere and you find yourself going through the same negative thought patterns and behaviour, you could be guilty of self-sabotage.
Acknowledging and understanding self-sabotaging habits can help you to challenge your thinking, thus encouraging you to move away from fear, and towards success in all aspects of your life.
Ways we ‘commit’ self-sabotage:
- You avoid talking about your feelings and about issues that you feel strongly about and expect your partner to know what’s on your mind.
- You run away when things get difficult and wonder why you always end up in the same situations with the same type of people.
- You fail to acknowledge other people’s feelings and point of view — it’s your way or the high-way.
Your studies and career
- You procrastinate or focus on low-priority tasks when you should be tackling the high-priority ones first.
- You criticise yourself too much and fail to be productive as a result.
- You move from one job to another when things get uncomfortable, thus you never deal with the real problem.
- You don’t keep a budget and you spend money on items you rarely use or don’t need.
- You don’t save money, and even when you do, you fail to restrict yourself from using your savings casually.
- You pay for apps and subscriptions that you rarely use or need.
Steps to overcome self-sabotage
- It is crucial to communicate openly and honestly with others, express your views and fears. If you find you are always pushing people away, take a step back, acknowledge your behaviour and take responsibility for your actions.
- Work on your confidence, when we focus on our inadequacies we stand in the way of our success.
- Overcome your fear of failure. Think back to all your achievements and make a list of the obstacles you overcame to get there.
- Let go of perfectionism. When we try to be too perfect, we end up failing to try and that sets us back a great deal.
- Work on ways to manage your money, create a budget and stick to it. Open a fixed savings account that you can’t withdraw from for a period of time.
- Practise self-care and self-love. Making changes in your life takes time and patience: Be kind to yourself, allow yourself to heal.