Tradies Send In Apprentice Protesters After Realising Turning Up Every Day Is Too Much Work

“Hold the fucken’ sign higher, you dickhead!”

Tradies Send In Apprentice Protesters After Realising Turning Up Every Day Is Too Much Work

The Melbourne protesters’ plan to return to the streets ‘every day’ has come to an end already, after many tradies realised it would be easier to send an underpaid teenager into the city to be a dickhead on their behalf.

Darryl Stevens, an electrician living in Broadmeadows, described his light-bulb moment, “I realised I was on my feet for eight hours a day, three days straight, and I wasn’t even being paid for it! I know the protests are about freedom and all that. But I reckon there’s nothing freer than sending in your bludger apprentice to do all the hard stuff while you smash tinnies and play COD on the government’s dollar.”

Tradies tuned into live broadcasts to criticise the performance of their protesting workers. “Hold the fucken’ sign higher, you dickhead!” Mr. Stevens was quoted as saying while viewing live footage of his own apprentice. “A little bit of mace in the eyes and you go down? Absolute softcock.”

Apprentices were indifferent to their bosses kicking their feet up while being forced to pick up their slack, with a bricklayer-in-training describing it as ‘not much different from a normal day of work.’

By Akita Davidson Jr

Source : The Shovel More   

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Equality! Taliban Bans Biological Males and Biological Females from Participating in Women’s Sports

Much like a six-foot tall Army Special Forces soldier wrestling a lady, sports organizations around the world have been wrestling with the contentious issue of transgender athletes in women’s sports. Those opposed to the idea argue that differences in size, hormones, and bone density make it unsafe for transgender athletes and cisgender athletes to compete The post Equality! Taliban Bans Biological Males and Biological Females from Participating in Women’s Sports appeared first on The Mideast Beast.

Equality! Taliban Bans Biological Males and Biological Females from Participating in Women’s Sports

Much like a six-foot tall Army Special Forces soldier wrestling a lady, sports organizations around the world have been wrestling with the contentious issue of transgender athletes in women’s sports. Those opposed to the idea argue that differences in size, hormones, and bone density make it unsafe for transgender athletes and cisgender athletes to compete against one another. While other people argue that it’s okay for a woman to have her skull fractured by some dude who’s only been a chick for a few months.

Now, in a move that is sure to please everyone, Taliban leaders in Kabul have unveiled the world’s first truly fair and egalitarian policy on the issue. Deputy head of the Taliban’s cultural commission, Ahmadullah Wasiq, announced on Wednesday that both biological males and biological females will be banned from participating in women’s sports. This means individuals born with a penis and XY chromosomes, whose higher levels of testosterone give them a natural advantage in feats of athleticism, will not be allowed to compete on female sports teams. And neither will individuals born with a vagina and XX chromosomes, whose higher levels of estrogen give them a natural advantage in feats of cooking, texting, and shopping.

The Taliban’s win-win solution to the controversial debate will ensure that no one – man, woman, cisgender, or transgender – ever gets to compete in women’s sports. Progressive groups and transgender advocacy organizations will no doubt be thrilled that finally all athletes, regardless of gender identity, will be treated equally and that this divisive problem has been resolved.

The post Equality! Taliban Bans Biological Males and Biological Females from Participating in Women’s Sports appeared first on The Mideast Beast.

Source : The Mideast Beast More   

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